I have placed these books under the category of textbooks with much reluctance. They do not measure up to textbook standards. They were published at the same time in 1982, and do in truth represent more my notes used for lectures than completed textbooks. At best you could call them “essays” i. e. attempts on the way toward developing an understanding of relationships. The students wanted notes from my lectures, and the publisher wanted books in psychology. I worked on the notes for both books during some 8 months, sent them to the publishers, and they pushed for publication. Looking back I have regretted the fact that I agreed to let them do it. The students who were interested in my thinking about relationships, however, used the material in their work, and happily obtained good, even excellent results. Now as experienced colleagues they have encouraged me to place the books on my home page. The reason they give is that the books are a part of the history they themselves were a part of in the 80ties and 90ties. This history made the book on relationships possible (A-4).